Mediating Education Choices: Finding Common Ground When Parents Disagree
August 17, 2023

Parenting is a profound responsibility, and one of the most consequential decisions parents face is determining the best educational path for their children. But what happens when parents don’t see eye to eye? Mediation provides an avenue for reaching consensus. Let's delve into the different educational options and how parents can decide collectively on the best choice.


Criteria for Deciding:

  1. Child’s Needs: Every child is unique. What works for one might not work for another. Look at your child's learning style, social needs, and extracurricular interests.
  2. Financial Considerations: Some options, like private schools, come with a hefty price tag.
  3. Location and Logistics: Proximity to home, transportation needs, and school timings can play a role in your decision.
  4. Academic Rigor and Special Programs: Does the school offer advanced placement, special education, or gifted and talented programs?
  5. Values and Culture: It's essential to choose an environment that aligns with your family's values and cultural beliefs.


Types of Education:

  • Public School—note you can often decide between multiple districts depending where each parent lives and if local districts accept cash transfer students:
  • Pros: No tuition fees, often diverse student body, accessibility, standardized curriculum
  • Cons: Larger class sizes, potentially limited resources, may lack specialized programs.
  • Private School:
  • Pros: Smaller class sizes, specialized curriculums, potential for unique extracurriculars.
  • Cons: Tuition fees, might be less diverse, admissions process can be competitive.
  • Montessori School:
  • Pros: Emphasizes child-led learning, fosters independence and critical thinking, mixed-age classrooms.
  • Cons: May not align with traditional grading and testing standards, tuition fees.
  • Home School:
  • Pros: Highly personalized curriculum, flexible schedule, family bonding.
  • Cons: Requires significant parental involvement, potential lack of socialization, questions about standardized testing and college admissions.
  • Online School:
  • Pros: Flexible schedule, accessibility, variety of courses.
  • Cons: Requires self-discipline, potential lack of hands-on activities and socialization.
  • Religious School:
  • Pros: Incorporates religious teachings, often aligns with specific values and morals, community-building.
  • Cons: Tuition fees, may lack diversity, potential disagreements on religious interpretations.
  • Charter School:
  • Pros: Innovative teaching methods, more autonomy than public schools, often have specialized themes or missions.
  • Cons: Competitive admissions, potential lack of oversight, can vary widely in quality.


How Can Parents Decide?

  1. Open Dialogue: Begin with an open and respectful conversation about your expectations, worries, and hopes. Understand that both of you want what's best for your child.
  2. Research Together: Visit schools, talk to educators, and attend open houses. It's easier to form a consensus based on shared knowledge.
  3. Mediation: If a decision seems elusive, consider mediation. A neutral third party can provide perspective, guiding the conversation in a productive direction.
  4. Trial Period: If both parents are open to the idea, you might consider trying a school for a period to evaluate how well it suits your child.
  5. Re-evaluation: Remember that the chosen educational path can be re-evaluated if it's not working out. Flexibility can reduce pressure on the initial decision.


Education is a journey, and like any journey, it requires collaboration, understanding, and sometimes compromise. By working together, keeping an open mind, and focusing on your child’s best interests, parents can navigate the complex world of education and make the best decision for their family.


This post was written by Chelle Hendershot, Registered Mediator at Hope For Our Future, LLC. This is not intended to be legal advice and is for advertising purposes only.

 

Copyright © 2023 Hope For Our Future, LLC. All rights reserved. This blog post may be shared, copied, and distributed in its entirety for non-commercial purposes, provided that proper attribution is given, and no modifications are made to the original work.

Related Post

June 4, 2025
Parenting time orders are designed to help separated or divorced parents create structure around when and how their child spends time with each parent. But for many families, especially those new to the legal process, these orders can feel confusing or overwhelming. Understanding the basics of your Indiana parenting time order can help reduce conflict, improve communication, and give your child the stability they need. What Is a Parenting Time Order? A parenting time order is a legal document that outlines when a child will be with each parent. It may include weekly schedules, holiday arrangements, transportation responsibilities, and instructions for communication. In Indiana, these orders are often based on the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines (IPTG) , which provide a standard framework for parenting time when parents live apart. Key Components of a Parenting Time Order Every order may look slightly different, but most include the following: Regular Weekly Schedule (e.g., every other weekend, midweek visits) Holiday Schedule (alternating holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.) Spring, Summer, and Fall Break Plans Pick-Up and Drop-Off Times/Locations Communication Guidelines (calls, texts, video chats) It’s important to read the entire order carefully. Even small details—like which parent transports the child or how far in advance changes must be requested—can affect how smoothly things go. Follow the Order—Even If It’s Not Perfect You might not agree with every part of your parenting time order, but until it’s legally changed, both parents are expected to follow it. Ignoring or altering the order without agreement from the other parent (or the court) can lead to legal consequences. If the current plan no longer works, speak with your attorney or consider mediation to create a new agreement you can both live with. What If the Other Parent Isn’t Following the Order? It’s frustrating when parenting time doesn’t happen as ordered. Missed visits, late arrivals, or frequent last-minute changes can create tension. Here are some tips: Document each incident calmly and clearly (dates, times, what happened). Avoid arguing in front of the child. Try to resolve the issue directly —but respectfully—with your co-parent. If that doesn’t work, you may need to seek legal advice or consider mediation. Common Misunderstandings About Parenting Time Orders “We made a verbal agreement, so we don’t need to follow the court order.” → Verbal agreements are not legally binding. Always get changes in writing. “I don’t have to let them go if the child doesn’t want to.” → Parenting time is a legal right. If there’s a concern, talk to a professional—not just your child. “They didn’t pay child support, so I’m withholding parenting time.” → Child support and parenting time are separate legal issues. Denying time could backfire in court. Final Thoughts Your parenting time order is more than a schedule—it’s a tool to help your child experience stability, routine, and connection with both parents. Understanding and respecting the order (even when it's inconvenient) sends your child a clear message: their needs come first. At Hope For Our Future, LLC, I support families in navigating parenting time with empathy, communication, and structure. If you’re having trouble following the order or need help working through disagreements, parenting coordination or mediation can help you find a better path forward. This post was written by Chelle Hendershot, who is a dedicated Mediator, Guardian ad Litem, and Parenting Coordinator at Hope For Our Future, LLC, with a passion for helping individuals and families navigate through life's most challenging moments. This post is not intended to be legal advice and is for marketing purposes only. Copyright © 2025 Hope For Our Future, LLC. All rights reserved. This blog post may be shared, copied, and distributed in its entirety for non-commercial purposes, provided that proper attribution is given, and no modifications are made to the original work. Photo Credit: 55621892 Andrea De Martin Dreamstime.com
June 2, 2025
Texting is often the easiest way for co-parents to communicate. It’s fast, convenient, and keeps a written record. But it can also lead to tension if messages are misread or sent in frustration. When co-parents text with clarity and calm, they can avoid conflict and stay focused on what matters most—their child. Here’s a guide to help make texting more productive and less stressful. ✅ DO: Keep It Focused on the Kids Texting should be limited to topics related to your child—like school schedules, medical updates, or changes in parenting time. Avoid discussing your personal relationship or rehashing old arguments. ✅ Example: “Emma has a fever. I’ve scheduled a doctor’s appointment for 2 PM tomorrow.” ✅ Example: “I’ll drop the soccer uniform off at your house Sunday by 6:00 PM.” ❌ DON’T: Use Texts to Argue or Blame It’s easy to fire off a message when you’re frustrated—but texting isn’t the place to vent. Angry or emotional messages often escalate the conflict and can be used against you later. ❌ Avoid: “You always do this. You don’t care about what’s best for our son.” ❌ Avoid: “Why should I remind you again? You're the one who keeps messing things up.” ✅ DO: Be Clear and Specific The more precise you are, the less likely you’ll be misunderstood. Be sure to include names, dates, times, and details when making or confirming plans. ✅ Example: “Can you pick up Mia from her piano lesson at 4:30 PM at Music Hall on Wednesday?” ✅ Example: “Just confirming I’ll return Alex to your house Sunday at 7 PM after our weekend.” ❌ DON’T: Be Vague or Passive-Aggressive Sarcasm, vague language, and backhanded comments only create tension. If you’re trying to be helpful or cooperative, say exactly what you mean in a respectful way. ❌ Avoid: “Well, I guess I’ll do it AGAIN since you can’t manage.” ❌ Avoid: “Whatever works for you—like usual.” ✅ DO: Take Time Before You Reply Not every message needs an instant response. If you feel frustrated or hurt, give yourself time to cool off. Respond when you can do so calmly and clearly. ✅ Tip: Write a draft, wait 15 minutes, re-read it, and then decide whether to send. ✅ Tip: If you need more time, respond with: “I’ll check on that and get back to you later today.” ❌ DON’T: Use the Child as a Messenger Never send messages through your child or discuss texts with them. Kids should never be put in the middle or made to feel responsible for managing communication between parents. ❌ Avoid: “Tell your mom she needs to be on time this time.” ❌ Avoid: Showing your child angry messages from the other parent. ✅ DO: Keep a Record of Important Messages Save texts that involve agreements about parenting time, expenses, or decisions about your child. Keeping a clean record can help clarify misunderstandings and provide documentation if needed in court or mediation. ✅ Tip: Avoid editing or deleting message threads related to your child’s care. ❌ DON’T: Overshare or Get Personal Your co-parent doesn’t need to know how you feel about their new relationship, parenting style, or weekend plans. Keep the conversation centered on co-parenting—not your emotions or opinions. ❌ Avoid: “It’s interesting that you suddenly have time for him now.” ❌ Avoid: “By the way, I saw you out with someone new—just thought I’d mention it.” Final Thoughts Texting your co-parent doesn't have to be stressful. When messages are respectful, focused, and child-centered, communication becomes more productive—and parenting becomes easier for everyone involved. At Hope For Our Future, LLC, we help co-parents improve their communication and reduce conflict, so they can work toward peaceful, consistent parenting routines that support their children. This post was written by Chelle Hendershot, who is a dedicated Mediator, Guardian ad Litem, and Parenting Coordinator at Hope For Our Future, LLC, with a passion for helping individuals and families navigate through life's most challenging moments. This post is not intended to be legal advice and is for marketing purposes only. Copyright © 2025 Hope For Our Future, LLC. All rights reserved. This blog post may be shared, copied, and distributed in its entirety for non-commercial purposes, provided that proper attribution is given, and no modifications are made to the original work. Photo Credit: 55621892 Andrea De Martin Dreamstime.com