Mediating Education Choices: Finding Common Ground When Parents Disagree
August 17, 2023

Parenting is a profound responsibility, and one of the most consequential decisions parents face is determining the best educational path for their children. But what happens when parents don’t see eye to eye? Mediation provides an avenue for reaching consensus. Let's delve into the different educational options and how parents can decide collectively on the best choice.


Criteria for Deciding:

  1. Child’s Needs: Every child is unique. What works for one might not work for another. Look at your child's learning style, social needs, and extracurricular interests.
  2. Financial Considerations: Some options, like private schools, come with a hefty price tag.
  3. Location and Logistics: Proximity to home, transportation needs, and school timings can play a role in your decision.
  4. Academic Rigor and Special Programs: Does the school offer advanced placement, special education, or gifted and talented programs?
  5. Values and Culture: It's essential to choose an environment that aligns with your family's values and cultural beliefs.


Types of Education:

  • Public School—note you can often decide between multiple districts depending where each parent lives and if local districts accept cash transfer students:
  • Pros: No tuition fees, often diverse student body, accessibility, standardized curriculum
  • Cons: Larger class sizes, potentially limited resources, may lack specialized programs.
  • Private School:
  • Pros: Smaller class sizes, specialized curriculums, potential for unique extracurriculars.
  • Cons: Tuition fees, might be less diverse, admissions process can be competitive.
  • Montessori School:
  • Pros: Emphasizes child-led learning, fosters independence and critical thinking, mixed-age classrooms.
  • Cons: May not align with traditional grading and testing standards, tuition fees.
  • Home School:
  • Pros: Highly personalized curriculum, flexible schedule, family bonding.
  • Cons: Requires significant parental involvement, potential lack of socialization, questions about standardized testing and college admissions.
  • Online School:
  • Pros: Flexible schedule, accessibility, variety of courses.
  • Cons: Requires self-discipline, potential lack of hands-on activities and socialization.
  • Religious School:
  • Pros: Incorporates religious teachings, often aligns with specific values and morals, community-building.
  • Cons: Tuition fees, may lack diversity, potential disagreements on religious interpretations.
  • Charter School:
  • Pros: Innovative teaching methods, more autonomy than public schools, often have specialized themes or missions.
  • Cons: Competitive admissions, potential lack of oversight, can vary widely in quality.


How Can Parents Decide?

  1. Open Dialogue: Begin with an open and respectful conversation about your expectations, worries, and hopes. Understand that both of you want what's best for your child.
  2. Research Together: Visit schools, talk to educators, and attend open houses. It's easier to form a consensus based on shared knowledge.
  3. Mediation: If a decision seems elusive, consider mediation. A neutral third party can provide perspective, guiding the conversation in a productive direction.
  4. Trial Period: If both parents are open to the idea, you might consider trying a school for a period to evaluate how well it suits your child.
  5. Re-evaluation: Remember that the chosen educational path can be re-evaluated if it's not working out. Flexibility can reduce pressure on the initial decision.


Education is a journey, and like any journey, it requires collaboration, understanding, and sometimes compromise. By working together, keeping an open mind, and focusing on your child’s best interests, parents can navigate the complex world of education and make the best decision for their family.


This post was written by Chelle Hendershot, Registered Mediator at Hope For Our Future, LLC. This is not intended to be legal advice and is for advertising purposes only.

 

Copyright © 2023 Hope For Our Future, LLC. All rights reserved. This blog post may be shared, copied, and distributed in its entirety for non-commercial purposes, provided that proper attribution is given, and no modifications are made to the original work.

Related Post

July 7, 2025
Talking to children about divorce is one of the hardest conversations a parent can face. You may be filled with your own emotions—guilt, sadness, worry—but your child needs your calm, honest, and age-appropriate guidance to make sense of what’s happening. No matter how old they are, kids need reassurance that they are loved and that the divorce is not their fault. Here’s how to talk to children about divorce in a way that supports their development and emotional well-being—tailored to their age and stage. Toddlers and Preschoolers (Ages 1–5) At this age, children won’t fully understand what divorce means, but they will sense stress and changes in their routine. They need simple explanations and consistent reassurance. What to say: “Mommy and Daddy are going to live in different houses. You didn’t do anything wrong. We both love you and will always take care of you.” What helps: Keep routines as consistent as possible. Use books or toys to help explain changes. Expect regressions in behavior—this is a normal way they process change. Avoid negative talk about the other parent. Early Elementary (Ages 6–9) Kids this age can understand that divorce means their parents won’t live together anymore, but they may still believe it’s their fault. They often worry about what will happen to them and may feel torn between both parents. What to say: “We both love you, and we’ve decided we won’t be married anymore. It’s not your fault. You’ll still get to spend time with both of us.” What helps: Be prepared to repeat information often. Answer questions calmly, even if they’re asked repeatedly. Let them know it’s okay to love both parents. Give them ways to stay connected to each parent, like a shared journal or photo book. Tweens (Ages 10–12) Older children can understand more about relationships and may want more details. They may feel angry, embarrassed, or worry about what their friends will think. This age group benefits from honesty and a chance to express their emotions. What to say: “We’ve had problems for a while, and we’ve decided this is the best choice for our family. We know it’s a big change, and we’re here to talk whenever you need.” What helps: Acknowledge their feelings—even if they’re negative. Avoid putting them in the middle or asking them to take sides. Give them a sense of control, like letting them help decorate their new bedroom or choose the calendar for parenting time. Watch for withdrawal or changes in school or social behavior. Teens (Ages 13–18) Teens understand complex emotions and may have strong opinions. They might blame one parent, shut down emotionally, or try to take on adult responsibilities. Some may act like they don’t care, but underneath, they are often deeply affected. What to say: “We know this affects you, and we want to be open and honest. You don’t have to take sides. We’ll keep working together to make things as stable as possible for you.” What helps: Encourage open dialogue but don’t force it. Give them time and space to process. Continue to set boundaries and expectations—don’t let guilt lower your parenting standards. Consider counseling if they’re struggling. Tips for Every Age Be a united front. If possible, plan what you’ll say together and talk to your child as a team. Stick to age-appropriate language. Avoid oversharing adult details. Reassure them often. Kids need to hear that both parents love them and that things will be okay. Keep communication open. Let them know they can always come to you with questions. Take care of yourself. Children pick up on your stress. Make space for your own healing so you can support theirs. Final Thoughts Your child doesn’t need a perfect explanation—they need your love, honesty, and support. Divorce is a huge life transition, but with thoughtful communication and consistency, kids can adapt and even thrive. You don’t have to have all the answers. Just being present and listening can make all the difference. If you're co-parenting, it’s also helpful to keep your message consistent between homes. When both parents commit to supporting the child emotionally, it lays the foundation for resilience and emotional health. This post was written by Chelle Hendershot, who is a dedicated Mediator, Guardian ad Litem, and Parenting Coordinator at Hope For Our Future, LLC, with a passion for helping individuals and families navigate through life's most challenging moments. This post is not intended to be legal advice and is for marketing purposes only. Photo Credit: 2856770 Childhood Stages Thomas Perkins Dreamstime.com
July 2, 2025
When summer rolls around, there’s a lot of pressure to make it memorable. Social media is filled with big vacations and expensive outings but the truth is, kids don’t need fancy trips to have fun. They just need your time, a little imagination, and a chance to explore. Backyard adventures can be some of the most meaningful moments for kids no packing, no driving, and no entrance fees required. Whether you’re a full-time parent or co-parenting with a schedule, these easy ideas can fit into almost any day. Here are some simple and budget-friendly backyard activities to try this summer. 1. Backyard Obstacle Course Use what you already have pool noodles, hula hoops, boxes, or jump ropes to build an obstacle course. Let your kids help design it and take turns timing each other. Add a sprinkler at the end for a splashy finish. 2. DIY Nature Scavenger Hunt Make a list of simple things to find: a red leaf, a bug, something soft, something round. Print it out or draw it together. This is a great activity for all ages and can turn an ordinary yard into a world of discovery. 3. Campout at Home Set up a tent or make a fort with blankets under the stars. Add flashlights, s'mores in the microwave, and some campfire stories. You don’t have to sleep outside to make it magical. 4. Sidewalk Chalk Art Festival Give kids chalk and let them turn the driveway into an art gallery. Add a twist with chalk games like hopscotch, four-square, or drawing prompts (“draw your dream pet”). 5. Water Balloon Piñata Fill balloons with water, tie them from a tree branch, and take turns swinging at them with a plastic bat or stick. It’s fun, hilarious, and perfect for a hot afternoon. 6. Mud Kitchen or Nature Play Station Old pots, pans, spoons, and a little dirt and water can keep little ones busy for hours. Add flowers, leaves, or food coloring for extra fun. Let them make “recipes” and serve you backyard delicacies. 7. Backyard Movie Night Use a sheet and a projector (or just a laptop on a table) and show a family movie outside. Popcorn, pillows, and blankets turn it into a full event. This works great for parenting time evenings. 8. Bug or Bird Watching Station Set up a small observation zone with binoculars, a notebook, and a bird guide or app. Encourage kids to draw or write down what they see. It’s a quiet activity that builds focus and wonder. 9. Lemonade Stand (Even If It’s Just for You) Let kids make and decorate their own lemonade stand even if they’re just serving the family. It’s a fun way to play pretend, practice math, and feel a sense of accomplishment. 10. Frozen Toy Rescue Freeze small toys in a container of water. Give your child tools like spoons, salt, or spray bottles to “rescue” the toys from the ice. It’s simple sensory fun and science rolled into one. Why These Moments Matter You don’t need to go anywhere to make memories. When children look back on summer, it’s the laughs, the silliness, and the time spent together that they’ll remember most. These activities are also great for building connection during parenting time transitions, helping children feel grounded and safe. Backyard fun gives you a way to be fully present no distractions, no stress, just joy. This post was written by Chelle Hendershot, who is a dedicated Mediator, Guardian ad Litem, and Parenting Coordinator at Hope For Our Future, LLC, with a passion for helping individuals and families navigate through life's most challenging moments. This post is not intended to be legal advice and is for marketing purposes only. Photo Credit: 147432855 Marysmn Dreamstime.com