How to Talk to Kids About Divorce at Any Age
July 7, 2025

Talking to children about divorce is one of the hardest conversations a parent can face. You may be filled with your own emotions—guilt, sadness, worry—but your child needs your calm, honest, and age-appropriate guidance to make sense of what’s happening. No matter how old they are, kids need reassurance that they are loved and that the divorce is not their fault.


Here’s how to talk to children about divorce in a way that supports their development and emotional well-being—tailored to their age and stage. 


Toddlers and Preschoolers (Ages 1–5)

At this age, children won’t fully understand what divorce means, but they will sense stress and changes in their routine. They need simple explanations and consistent reassurance.


What to say:
“Mommy and Daddy are going to live in different houses. You didn’t do anything wrong. We both love you and will always take care of you.”


What helps:

  • Keep routines as consistent as possible.
  • Use books or toys to help explain changes.
  • Expect regressions in behavior—this is a normal way they process change.
  • Avoid negative talk about the other parent. 


Early Elementary (Ages 6–9)

Kids this age can understand that divorce means their parents won’t live together anymore, but they may still believe it’s their fault. They often worry about what will happen to them and may feel torn between both parents.


What to say:
“We both love you, and we’ve decided we won’t be married anymore. It’s not your fault. You’ll still get to spend time with both of us.”


What helps:

  • Be prepared to repeat information often.
  • Answer questions calmly, even if they’re asked repeatedly.
  • Let them know it’s okay to love both parents.
  • Give them ways to stay connected to each parent, like a shared journal or photo book. 


Tweens (Ages 10–12)

Older children can understand more about relationships and may want more details. They may feel angry, embarrassed, or worry about what their friends will think. This age group benefits from honesty and a chance to express their emotions.


What to say:
“We’ve had problems for a while, and we’ve decided this is the best choice for our family. We know it’s a big change, and we’re here to talk whenever you need.”


What helps:

  • Acknowledge their feelings—even if they’re negative.
  • Avoid putting them in the middle or asking them to take sides.
  • Give them a sense of control, like letting them help decorate their new bedroom or choose the calendar for parenting time.
  • Watch for withdrawal or changes in school or social behavior. 


Teens (Ages 13–18)

Teens understand complex emotions and may have strong opinions. They might blame one parent, shut down emotionally, or try to take on adult responsibilities. Some may act like they don’t care, but underneath, they are often deeply affected.


What to say:
“We know this affects you, and we want to be open and honest. You don’t have to take sides. We’ll keep working together to make things as stable as possible for you.”


What helps:

  • Encourage open dialogue but don’t force it.
  • Give them time and space to process.
  • Continue to set boundaries and expectations—don’t let guilt lower your parenting standards.
  • Consider counseling if they’re struggling. 


Tips for Every Age

  • Be a united front. If possible, plan what you’ll say together and talk to your child as a team.
  • Stick to age-appropriate language. Avoid oversharing adult details.
  • Reassure them often. Kids need to hear that both parents love them and that things will be okay.
  • Keep communication open. Let them know they can always come to you with questions.
  • Take care of yourself. Children pick up on your stress. Make space for your own healing so you can support theirs.


Final Thoughts

Your child doesn’t need a perfect explanation—they need your love, honesty, and support. Divorce is a huge life transition, but with thoughtful communication and consistency, kids can adapt and even thrive. You don’t have to have all the answers. Just being present and listening can make all the difference.

If you're co-parenting, it’s also helpful to keep your message consistent between homes. When both parents commit to supporting the child emotionally, it lays the foundation for resilience and emotional health.

This post was written by Chelle Hendershot, who is a dedicated Mediator, Guardian ad Litem, and Parenting Coordinator at Hope For Our Future, LLC, with a passion for helping individuals and families navigate through life's most challenging moments. This post is not intended to be legal advice and is for marketing purposes only.

Photo Credit: 2856770 Childhood Stages Thomas Perkins Dreamstime.com

Related Post

Backyard Adventures: Simple Summer Activities That Kids Will Love

July 2, 2025
When summer rolls around, there’s a lot of pressure to make it memorable. Social media is filled with big vacations and expensive outings but the truth is, kids don’t need fancy trips to have fun. They just need your time, a little imagination, and a chance to explore. Backyard adventures can be some of the most meaningful moments for kids no packing, no driving, and no entrance fees required. Whether you’re a full-time parent or co-parenting with a schedule, these easy ideas can fit into almost any day. Here are some simple and budget-friendly backyard activities to try this summer. 1. Backyard Obstacle Course Use what you already have pool noodles, hula hoops, boxes, or jump ropes to build an obstacle course. Let your kids help design it and take turns timing each other. Add a sprinkler at the end for a splashy finish. 2. DIY Nature Scavenger Hunt Make a list of simple things to find: a red leaf, a bug, something soft, something round. Print it out or draw it together. This is a great activity for all ages and can turn an ordinary yard into a world of discovery. 3. Campout at Home Set up a tent or make a fort with blankets under the stars. Add flashlights, s'mores in the microwave, and some campfire stories. You don’t have to sleep outside to make it magical. 4. Sidewalk Chalk Art Festival Give kids chalk and let them turn the driveway into an art gallery. Add a twist with chalk games like hopscotch, four-square, or drawing prompts (“draw your dream pet”). 5. Water Balloon Piñata Fill balloons with water, tie them from a tree branch, and take turns swinging at them with a plastic bat or stick. It’s fun, hilarious, and perfect for a hot afternoon. 6. Mud Kitchen or Nature Play Station Old pots, pans, spoons, and a little dirt and water can keep little ones busy for hours. Add flowers, leaves, or food coloring for extra fun. Let them make “recipes” and serve you backyard delicacies. 7. Backyard Movie Night Use a sheet and a projector (or just a laptop on a table) and show a family movie outside. Popcorn, pillows, and blankets turn it into a full event. This works great for parenting time evenings. 8. Bug or Bird Watching Station Set up a small observation zone with binoculars, a notebook, and a bird guide or app. Encourage kids to draw or write down what they see. It’s a quiet activity that builds focus and wonder. 9. Lemonade Stand (Even If It’s Just for You) Let kids make and decorate their own lemonade stand even if they’re just serving the family. It’s a fun way to play pretend, practice math, and feel a sense of accomplishment. 10. Frozen Toy Rescue Freeze small toys in a container of water. Give your child tools like spoons, salt, or spray bottles to “rescue” the toys from the ice. It’s simple sensory fun and science rolled into one. Why These Moments Matter You don’t need to go anywhere to make memories. When children look back on summer, it’s the laughs, the silliness, and the time spent together that they’ll remember most. These activities are also great for building connection during parenting time transitions, helping children feel grounded and safe. Backyard fun gives you a way to be fully present no distractions, no stress, just joy. This post was written by Chelle Hendershot, who is a dedicated Mediator, Guardian ad Litem, and Parenting Coordinator at Hope For Our Future, LLC, with a passion for helping individuals and families navigate through life's most challenging moments. This post is not intended to be legal advice and is for marketing purposes only. Photo Credit: 147432855 Marysmn Dreamstime.com

Ways to Support Your Child During Family Changes

June 30, 2025
When families go through major changes—like divorce, separation, a move, or a new partner—it can be hard on everyone. But for kids, these transitions can feel especially overwhelming. Their world is shifting, and they may not fully understand what’s happening or how to express what they’re feeling.  As a parent, there’s a lot you can do to support your child through big life changes. Even if you can’t control the situation itself, the way you guide them through it can make a huge difference in how they cope and adjust. Let Your Child Feel What They Feel Kids don’t always have the words to describe their emotions, but they know when something feels “off.” They may act out, become quiet, or ask the same questions over and over. That’s all normal. Here’s how to help: Validate their feelings. Say things like, “It’s okay to feel sad or confused.” Avoid rushing them to ‘be okay.’ Healing takes time. Give them space to talk—or not talk. Just being present goes a long way. Every child reacts differently to change. What matters most is that they feel heard and supported. Keep Routines as Consistent as Possible Even if your family dynamic is shifting, your child still needs structure. Routines give them a sense of security when everything else feels uncertain. Try to: Keep bedtime and mealtime schedules steady Maintain school and activity routines Continue traditions, like weekend breakfasts or bedtime stories These familiar rhythms help kids feel like some parts of life are still safe and predictable. Be Honest—In a Kid-Friendly Way It’s important to be honest with your child about what’s happening, but that doesn’t mean oversharing or involving them in adult issues. Stick to basic, age-appropriate truths: “We’re going to live in two different homes now, but we both love you.” “Things will be different, but we’re working to make it better for you.” “It’s not your fault.” Kids don’t need every detail. What they need most is reassurance that they are loved and cared for, no matter what changes around them. Don’t Put Them in the Middle One of the most stressful things for children during family transitions is feeling stuck between parents. Avoid: Speaking negatively about the other parent Making your child choose sides Using your child to pass messages If there’s tension between co-parents, try to keep it away from your child as much as possible. You may need support from a parenting coordinator or mediator to make this work—and that’s okay. Give Them a Voice (But Not the Responsibility) Children should feel safe to express their thoughts and preferences, especially during transitions like moving, changing schools, or adjusting to new schedules. That said, they shouldn’t carry the weight of big decisions. Let them know: You want to hear how they’re feeling Their opinions matter The adults are still in charge of making the hard choices This balance helps kids feel empowered but not overwhelmed. Watch for Signs They’re Struggling Changes at home can sometimes lead to emotional or behavioral shifts. Be aware of: Sleep problems or frequent nightmares Drop in grades or interest in activities Withdrawal, aggression, or clinginess Physical complaints like stomachaches or headaches If you notice these signs, consider connecting with a counselor, school therapist, or pediatrician. Getting support early can make a big difference. Offer Extra Love and Patience Transitions are a time when kids need more comfort, not less. Find ways to show extra love, even in the little moments: Hugs and snuggles Simple affirmations like “I’m proud of you” or “You’re safe” Quality time, even if it’s just 10 minutes of focused attention Let them know that while life is changing, your love for them is not. You Don’t Have to Do It Alone Supporting your child through family changes can be emotionally exhausting. If you’re co-parenting, consider mediation or parenting coordination to help reduce conflict. If you’re parenting solo, lean on your support system—friends, family, professionals. And most importantly, take care of yourself too. A well-supported parent is better able to support their child. In Closing Change is hard—for everyone. But it can also be a time of growth and new beginnings. With patience, consistency, and love, your child can come through family changes feeling stronger, more connected, and more resilient. This post was written by Chelle Hendershot, who is a dedicated Mediator, Guardian ad Litem, and Parenting Coordinator at Hope For Our Future, LLC, with a passion for helping individuals and families navigate through life's most challenging moments. This post is not intended to be legal advice and is for marketing purposes only. Photo Credit: 141458546 Communication Fizkes Dreamstime.com